Today we are going to learn how to fail on purpose.
Stay with me! It’s going to be ok. I promise.
Failure is every perfectionist’s worst nightmare.
Isn’t that funny? Because we are telling ourselves that we are failing all the time!
Today we’re going to overcome this threat by failing on purpose!
We’re going to understand why failing on purpose is so transformative and how to do it in a way that won’t traumatize you….
One way that “lack of self-confidence” is born is because of the terror and fear of failure and rejection!
With no self-confidence you will not do certain things. You won’t throw yourself into any situation. And what may be playing like a movie in your mind is the rejection. The rejection of someone saying “No” to you or not succeeding at something you tried.
But why is rejection or failure so damn scary?
Because of you. Because of the movie you play in your head. It’s what you believe happens when you will be rejected or failed
Listen: nothing bad is going to happen if someone says no joining your startup, or no to a date. Also, nothing bad is going to happen if you try a new musical instrument and don’t get it right away, or try a new workout regime and don't quite know all the moves.
What is scary is what you start to say to yourself!
“See, I’m never going to be successful, they don’t think I’m good enough. No one will ever join me.”
“I told you that you were too fat to get it.”
“Everyone is staring at me and feeling sorry for me.”
What we must do is to experience rejection and failure and have it mean NOTHING about you. It’s not personal. It’s not you. This is one of the best ways to start building confidence and resilience.
So this is where we start to “fail” on purpose. Today’s challenge is to “fail” at something or to be rejected on purpose.
Here are some examples:
Ask for free coffee.
Ask for a promotion.
Ask for a raise.
Ask for a date.
Ask someone for their business.
Try a new exercise class.
Try a free language class.
Try something new at work you’ve never done before.
Try some hobby you don’t know how to do: pottery, painting, knitting.
Why? Once you start to fail on purpose you will remove all of the movies and negative talk that is in your head :)
See, the point here is that you are supposed to fail and be rejected, And if you do get a free coffee...SCORE! A big happy surprise.
And if you are rejected and fail? SCORE you have accomplished what you wanted to achieve!
There is only ONE catch!
You cannot do something that you are sure you will get or something you already know how to do!
Example: don’t ask your mom for free coffee.
It has to be something that you are genuinely afraid to ask for. Something that scares you.
- What will you ask for or try to do today to get rejected or fail?
- What would you normally say to yourself if you were rejected or failed in this way?
- What will you practice thinking today instead of that thought?
If you accidentally succeed, try to fail a second time!